


The fallen petal

by sseundalkhom



Series: The Garland [10]
Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, cheating minhyun, hanakaki disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:37:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom
Summary: The love distresses him. Loving that person makes him regret everything. But the choice of not loving that person will leave an emptiness in his life. If only there is a way for him to make that person love him more—if only.





	The fallen petal

**Author's Note:**

> reading with listening to lee hongki and yoo hwe seung - still love you ^^ i guess they have the same filming place with 2hyun in daybreak

The morning dew soaks his roof. The trace of the last night shower is still seen everywhere. Jonghyun is still there, lying lifelessly on the sofa near the window. He is asleep soundlessly. He is tired of everything but being thankful for the big shower last night which blocked any sound of his pain. The water droplets slowly come down the edge of the roof, making a lullaby for his morning nap. In his sleep, he ignores how stinky the shattered petals which cover his floor everywhere. The blood is everywhere, blanketing some petals and some thorns as well.

One drop.

Two drops.

 _Again_.

Until he opens his eyes with the remaining strength he has, Jonghyun wakes up from his slumber. He looks at the sky through his window. He lets a soft sigh coming out from his lips, weakly he uncovers the blanket off him. He stomps on the bloody petal, heading to his room.

Grabbing his phone, he stares at the photo that he uses as the wallpaper. The man of his love.

The man who turns his world beautiful yet bitter. The man who proposed him and made a vow before the altar a year ago. The man who makes him living the poignant flower every single day. The man who makes him regretting everything but he can’t help. Jonghyun loves him. A lot. More than he loves himself.

The phone is ringing. The man of his life calls him. But—here, at the moment, Jonghyun finds himself staring only, not willing to pick up the call and talk. He is already tired. He feels numb.

The call is ended. Jonghyun smiles. As if he is proud of what he has done, ignored the call just like how he’s supposed to do.

“Just come back—don’t call. Hold me like you used to do back then, Minhyun-ah,” he monologues. He falls down to the floor, sitting with hugging his knee, he lowers his head and crying soundlessly.

He is missing the man. As many as the day, he goes through by himself. As many nights he sleeps alone under the roof where Minhyun was supposed to be. He wants him to stay next to him, but he is unable to ask for because he knows. Jonghyun itself is no longer living in Minhyun’s heart. He is replaced by anyone else. Though a ring still lingers around his finger, it can not deny the fact Minhyun does not love him anymore.

“Minhyun-ah…”

His heart is wrenched by the thorns. A bubble of blood slowly streams down out of his lips. However, Jonghyun sits still.

Like a rose is plucked, slowly it dies by the days. Because one person is greedy by its beauty, Minhyun plucked him, just keeps him under his roof without watering him much love, then let him withering by the time without him knowing. He is too busy by taking care of others, instead of his rose.

That’s the thing Jonghyun understands his situation right now. He should not have let himself plucked, stored under the Hwang and would wither like a flower in the hot summer. He should have lived a little longer, instead of perishing because of the disease. The pain of loving the man alone, without being loved by the man.

“Minhyun-ah…” The more he calls out his name, the more his heart craves for his love, the thorn slowly pierces his heart, weakens his body then he collapses eventually.

The last thing he remembers, it is the smile of Minhyun at their wedding day.

* * *

 

His eyes slowly open examines everything which is bizarre to wake up in the different room. He smiles, thinking about the possibility his friend will bring him into a hospital and force him to do an operation and get rid the pain. But he will not do it. Just how Minhyun is precious to him, the love itself is more precious to him. Since he knows, Minhyun will not ever know how much the latter love him, how much he suffers from his disease by loving him alone. He is sorry for himself and their marriage; sorry because he can not make him love him more. Because it seems impossible for Minhyun to look at Jonghyun again like the first time when they met. Because it is impossible when the person in Minhyun’s heart is no longer him.

He knows. If only Minhyun does the same, he won’t be able to bear the pain, just like Jonghyun does. He can bear the great affliction. _Just…_

He cannot bear how to pass the day without feeling how to love Minhyun. So he lets the pain devour him.

“Hwang Jonghyun,” the usual panic he usually hears when Minhyun was worried back then, he hears it again now, “look at me.”

The man turns his head to the left, pulling a weak smile when he sees the latter. How many days he undergoes without Minhyun until the yearning feels like a dream of meeting the husband in this kind of room. He wants to kiss the lips, bop the nose, hug him but he is too weak to do so.

“Jonghyun-ah…I’m sorry…” He begins to weep, Jonghyun’s hand tries to reach him, touches the cheek gently; his movement is so gentle while caressing his cheek, wiping down the tears.

“I love you,” he says. Somehow deep inside him, Jonghyun _wants_ to believe those words. Even so, it feels unreal.

“Minhyun-ah…I’m sleepy,” Jonghyun retorts. He says the truth. His eyes feel heavier than ever as if the room makes him drowsy.

The husband shakes his head in disbelief. “Don’t try, listen to me—Jonghyun, I love you, come back to me…let’s start everything. I will be a good husband, a good devoted husband for you only,” he fusses.

Jonghyun smiles at that promise. It feels good, dreamlike and ideal life for him. Since the first day, he only dreamed a good life with Minhyun next to him. He never asks more than having Minhyun for him. But it looks the impossible wish to grant.

“We can talk tomorrow,” his tone becomes down, almost being a whisper to the taller male’s ear, “I’m sleepy…”

The lying male still plasters his smile on his face though it’s hard.

“No, listen to me, I love you..”

The grip on Minhyun’s cheek is getting weaker and Jonghyun feels his time run out. At the same time, he can see the piteous cry of his husband, he wants to calm him down, ask him to not pity him, to not regret everything because it is too late. On the other hand, the word slips out of his lips only “Hwang Minhyun…”

The hand falls and Minhyun’s cry is stopped. The storm comes for the first time in Minhyun’s life.

He loses a chance to make his beloved stay for him.

He loses a chance to make Jonghyun alive.

He loses a chance to love the man more.

Just like the rose, he picked for Jonghyun at the proposal day, the rose has died a few days later. Jonghyun forgot to water the rose, just like how Minhyun forgot how to give the love after. Just like that rose, Jonghyun withers. The last vestige of Jonghyun is only the scattered petal with dried blood.

It is the last thing, he can give besides his love, to reminisce how much Jonghyun has loved the husband. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having bad day, with full of sad ballad in my playlist so i made this story in one of my sad nights.


End file.
